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Advice for Newbies--Definitions of popular terms

Safe sex= Bring a baseball bat!
Athletic= Sumo Wrestler
Athletic= Can chew gum while giving head
Open-Minded= Will fuck a skunk
Dark Pictures= Probably not eye candy
We aren't Ken&Barbie= We are gargoyles
We are Ken&Barbie= Just ask my mother
See pics= Oh! Did you mean of us?
Well-endowed= Inherited major cash
Well-travelled= Like 40 miles of bad road
Well-travelled= Staying one step ahead of the law
Close-up of genitalia= Clean-up in aisle 5
Close-up of genitalia= That is my face shot!
A little extra padding= Bring lots of snacks
Bi-Curious= Yeah Right!
Hidden faces= Janet Reno and Yassir Arafat
Newbies= Thought they were invited to a Swing Dance
Clean Couple= They bathed this week
He likes to watch= He is a eunuch
Professional Couple= They charge for sex
Alternative Activities= They will mow your lawn
Alternative Activities= Watching C-span together
Friends first= Hi, friend, let's fuck
Uninhibited= Streaked the Vatican
Dining and Dancing=The Arby's in our town, Buttfuck, AZ,
has a dance floor.
Committed Couple= They will see you when they are allowed
conjugal visits.
Friends with benefits= They want to borrow money from you.
She said, give me 8 inches and hurt me= I fucked
her twice and hit her with a brick.
Pole dance= You can still do it even if you are not Polish
Nice firm breasts= They're almost paid-off!
We would like to take pictures of you= A good way to become
well-known in your town.


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